If Santa had a grave he'd be rolling in it now

Alright, spoiler alert: if you are under eight or really young at heart or something like that, don't read the following, instead click on one of the many links on -> that side of the page. See them? All nice and pretty in lines, yes, go there, for the rest of us... read on.
Santa isn't real. You can't say that I didn't warn you. Businesses love the fact that a famous character is believed but entirely fictional. Why? He's free labour to sell your crappy product and you can have him say or do whatever you like. If Santa had a grave, some of the things that he's been doing would cause him to roll around in it.
I've heard and seen commercials recently, mostly portraying the jolly old elf as a stupid fat white man, selling everything from sex toys, to the regular kind. Believe it or not, Santa isn't too concerned about you getting laid, despite what some ads may have told you. For a guy that can get in and out of several billion homes in one night, I hardly believe that some kid hopped up on Pepsi is going to catch him, or he's going to stand around and debate about inhaling an entire large Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza. 'Help on-star my reinder's broken'? What the crap? I mean he has sweatshops filled with elves to do his bidding, I doubt that he's big into shopping at Rodgers Video, no matter how low their competitive prices are. I mean elves! C'mon! All you need to give them is a lifetime supply of tiny rolled up red shoes and they're happy, obviously they have a crappy union, but more importantly, they are pretty much free.
Another atrocity is those little figurines or portrayals of Saint Nick turning up in gift shops everywhere. Let me give you a demonstration before you start your rambing about how cute they are and how your life is better because of them... (imagination smoke filling the room *cough cough* ahem...) You go to visit a friend who invited you over for coffee. You haven't been to their place before so you figure you may as well. You ring the doorbell, they promptly answer, looking like they would any other time, but you are taken back. No, not by them, but their house is filled with unicorn/troll/dragon/fairy/clown crapobilia (figurines, memorbilia, pictures, posters, and other once useful products with a spin to match the overall decor). You smile, nod, and step inside, realizing that you've been staring wide-eyed right past them for a few minutes and they are starting to feel uncomfortable. No matter how hard you try you can't get past the eerie feeling that they are all going to gang up and eat your intestines, otherwise you have a delightful afternoon filled with coffee and biscoti, lively banter putting you at some ease.
Why is this any different from houses filled with snowmen or Santas? These are things that are imaginary or more fictional (snowmen are real, but not as shown, imagine a figurine of a half melted snowman with branches coming out of it's face and old grass throughout most of it because the neighbour's kids are kinda slow and that's as good as it'll get. It probably wouldn't sell very well). But back to my point... collecting Santas seems socially acceptable, but at the heart of it... still creepy.
So next time you see Santa selling a computer or maybe a George Foreman Grill, laugh at him and the below average advertisement firm that can't come up with anything better than the tired out cliche of 'Santa'. Hey, I have a final in two hours... maybe I'll start studying. See you all later, and don't forget... Santa is watching... bwa ha ha ha