A tribute to brown liquids...

Have you ever thought about how some of the best things in life are, well, brown? This doesn't apply to everything, mind you, especially when it comes to cars, but some of the best liquids that we are faced with everyday are brown.
This may seem kinda disgusting at first, but let me explain, by the end I know you'll be so convinced that you'll join my minion army with only a minimal amount of chloroform and promises of all the fish heads you can eat...
1. COFFEE: this could be one of the greatest drinks ever. Just look at the number of places that are devoted to this fine beverage. There are at least a bajillion places you can go to endulge in this fatty treat, oh, that's right. Check out http://starbucks.co.uk/en-GB/_Favorite+Beverages/Nutritional+Information+-+Frappuccino%C2%AE.htm if you think I'm lying, especially check out the whopping 24 grams of fat in the chocolate cream frappicino, sorry but I needed to ruin someone's day after my stupid prof was well, stupid.
2. COKE: whether you side with the guy sniffing cocaine or Brittney Spears, this multi-million dollar industry has probably got you hooked with one of their mainstream "original" flavours or one of thair new 'spin-off' varieties like the Christmas Spice Pepsi or Crystal Coke, they own you. Oh, and here's someone's useless blog on how to 'hack' a coke machine, http://www.i-hacked.com/Misc/Random-Stuff/Hacking-Coke-Machines.html, I'm really doubting that it works, but if you have nothing better to do...
3. CHOCOLATE: I know, this isn't the best of headers because it isn't an actual drink, well unless you like the taste of straight-up fondue, but I'm talking more about the many varieties that are available and drinks devoted to the cocoa. You have hot chocolate, chocolate and coffee, milkshakes, that new thing from Starbucks (like a fondue) or other varieties that I'm sure were magnificent flops at one time or another.
4. TEAS: this is only getting to be big thing now, well I guess it was in China for a while and then England for a bit, but I'm not there so it doesn't matter. Anyway, have you ever looked at loose tea in a pot (you need a clear glass pot unless you're 'Superman' and can see through measily ceramics, in which case can you go back in time so I can kill my Prof's Grandfather, thus preventing him from telling me I'm stupid? Thanks. But it is brown, and kinda has floaties in it, all in all, not really aesthetically pleasing.
5. OTHER CARBONATED DRINKS: yes, I know, this is pretty general, um, well root beer, (who had the bright idea of making beer from roots in the first place? That's like eating the first egg or drinking milk... probably a dare ... (cloud of imagination enshrouds the computer and you as you are taken back to old timey time... "Well, Jethro, I dare ye to eat the first thing that emerges from ye chicken's arse...", "You have yerself a deal!"... cloud dissipates as I consider the ever-growing evidence against evolution and survival of the fittest). But yes, there is root beer, and others that I can't think of now...
That's about all I can come up with, guess I'm kinda tired or something, I shall retreat back into sweet sweet caffeine, I don't have a problem... you do... yeah, that's it, bwa ha ha ha... ha ha ha ha... ho ho ha ha ha (disappear in a fit of manical laughter).