An ode... to Stiney

Alright, you may be wondering what a Stiney is. Stiney... um, actually I came up with this great adapted screenplay based on a story idea I had on a particularily slow day at work, I may post it on my website-of-the-week since it ended up really long. I shall tell you the shorter version of my story here.

It all began a dark and stormy night, um, well it was night, I know that much. Alright, nightime, and the streets were empty, actually that isn't quite right either. They were kinda busy, especially behind me as I was rearended by a big and scary truck (see far below picture). Maybe it wasn't so big and scary either, I mean it was green. I guess it was a GM. You can at least give me that. Now if I was hit by an all new Ridgeline...

Getting off topic. So this past Wednesday I went to get my car fixed. After a fond farewell, the reassurance that I would check on it through the night, and my contemplation with the post-partem depression I may experience, I walked over to Budget, eager to get the car I knew Len had set aside for me.

I asked Len, my boss, three weeks ago if I could rent a car, something nice, and for cheap (as to not entirely screw over my GM driving fiend). I asked him two weeks before, my two shifts before, but as I approached an empty lot, my heart sank, grasped only from the void by the fleeting hope that he had hidden it in the back. He didn't. In fact he was quite surprised to see me. Nice...

So after some tracking down, I became the 'proud' new renter of the Aveo. Oh, wait, I mean the (in big scary voice) the ALL NEW 2005 CHEVROLET AVEO-5. The only thing it was missing was a big Nike swoosh on the side to make it look like a brand new pair of running shoes.

So I'm driving crap. Attempting to make the best of the situation, I decided to take some photos and in fairly decent settings as to direct the eye away from the crappiness of the car.

Photo 1: A nice clean car (before you ask, the answer is yes, I did in fact clean the car upon leaving Budget) a bright blue sky, and a spacious field littered with dandilions... wait, it's kinda early for dandilions... it wasn't until I was quite on the field, out of the car, and taking pictures that I realized that those dandilions were golfballs, apparently I was at the 250ft marker of a driving range... opps... I got full coverage.

Photo 2: He he, wouldn't it be funny to make it look like I was going to be hit by a train? I scouted out a spot (in the middle of a shipping yard) where some rail cars were parked (no engine attached, as can be seen behind my car), I jumped out, snapped a shot, and then heard an ear shattering 'honk'. It was the kind of honk that made you regret what you had done, and maybe even regret being born. I guess my 'parked cars' were being backed into by an engine on an intersecting track that didn't appreciate me coming between them (kinda like a Mom bear and her cubs). Again, I had full coverage, although I can't imagine what Kurt would say when I dropped off the key, and maybe a rear view mirror.

At this point I decided that this car was doomed to live and I needed to head into work. My Dad, of course, loved the car, simply because I made fun of it all the time. My favorite part was when he said not to be so judgemental... maybe this was the best that someone could afford and not everyone can afford a Civic... (FYI, my car was $2000.00 less then Stiney).

As for 'Stiney', I got it from a Homestarrunner cartoon and once I find it, I'll post the link. Until then you can visit:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/homester.html
Click on 'Sounds, quotes, and cash withdrawls' then on 'StrongBad quotes pack'. It took me only two minutes to download, which means it will be finished once you hit 'OKAY'.

The moral of my story? 'Mama, don't let your babies grow up to drive Aveos... ' because they'll be putting on makeup while driving or talking on the phone and go through an intersection and die instantly when being struck by anything larger then a rabbit, (not the Volkswagen, the furry forest friend).

Yup, that's it, the doctor has left the building...