Merry Christmas

Okey-dokey. You know I always wanted to say that, I mean I do say that, but not to a large-scale audience, and since passing the 2000 viewer mark, I’m feeling pretty awesome. Almost a whole other level of awesomeness… ooooh, maybe I hit nine. That would be pretty sweet.

Try using the ‘okey-dokey’ in everyday speech. It’s fairly all consuming and self-explanatory. For those of you who are too cool for school, and perhaps the term, ‘okey-dokey’, Keanu Reeves used it in the Matrix. No kidding, it’s the part where he’s about to jump off a building and trying to look all cool and calm and then out of nowhere comes… that’s right, the big OD.

So I haven’t blogged in a while, if I was in grade two with the neon clothing and ponytail on the side of my head, perhaps the pinkie painted on my right hand as some kind of membership into an elusive club based around prancing around pretending to be ponies or planning what to do when we’re old enough to babysit, I would make a big deal that I haven’t written anything in a year. Or at least since last year. Oh, you know what I’m talking about, the last day of classes before Christmas break you’d run around telling your friends that you’d see them next year like it was some kind of bizarre saying implying that you would go a minimum of three hundred and fifty six days without seeing them when in actuality it would be about two weeks… Maybe that was just me. Meh.

So instead of being all up to date and talking about the new year, I’m going to pretend that it’s December 23rd and I’m still upset over the political correctness of the whole situation. Now, step into my super Civic-shaped time machine with the flux capacitor….

Woooo….ooooo……okey-dokie….ooooh

Hey, exams are over. I still don’t know my marks, but then again, I haven’t checked them since last Christmas. Maybe they posted them. I’ll check later. This round wasn’t nearly as much fun as last term, as I’m sure that I made reference to some kind of osprey soap opera… yeah, that sounds about right, instead I was faced with a barrage of multiple choice exams. Eww. Where am I supposed to creatively express myself? You can only spell so many words using the letters A to E, and the patterns you can make are quite limited within the five square grid that you are allotted. But, thankfully, I did not exclaim anything I may regret at the top of my lungs while prancing about from desk top to desk top while trying to make a tutu from answer sheets. All in all it was a good term.

So I’m not upset about that, whatsoever really. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m what I consider to be fatally ill, (I’m too sick to work), or the fact that I’m on a lot of Tylenol, or maybe it’s a combination of the two. I think I made tea… or at least boiled water, I’m going to check on that, hold on…mmm, I did make tea. It is good. BUT I AM UPSET, or the somewhat unconscious-wishing-I-was-playing-video-games-instead equivalent, about the holidays.

Allow me to paint you a picture…

Little Sammy is outside playing in the snow, (s)he’s quite happy about the whole thing, as it’s not twenty below or anything stupid like that, but a balmy –5C and Sammy happens to be wearing a toque, scarf, and a muff (oh, my New Year’s resolution is to bring this back, it’s so happening). Anyway, snow people are built and it’s time for cocoa. The Sammy’s parents fill their child with sugary goodness and decide to go around the neighbor hood singing Holiday Carols. Later on they come to a nice warm fire and gather around to decorate the Holiday tree. Mrs. Sammy’s Mom finishes the wrapping of the Holiday gifts, and Mr. Sammy’s Dad puts out the Holiday cookies and milk for Santa next to little Sammy’s Holiday list. It’s a beautiful Holiday Eve as they all settle down to sleep, dreaming of the Holiday to come.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

CHRISTMAS!!!! For the love of everything good and pure, you sound stupid when you use the word HOLIDAY, not smart or politically correct, but DUMB.

If I went to some Lion’s Club or place where old type people congregate, like the Road King, I wouldn’t go around complaining that Veteran’s day shouldn’t be called that because I’m not a Veteran and wasn’t around during their wars and I can’t very well celebrate it and make it something important to me unless it revolves around me. Think of Mother’s day, but instead of Mother’s day it became ‘I’m lacking a Y chromosome day and am capable of reproduction or in some way found myself a kid to raise as my own’ day, because, if you think about it, what about all the single Dads who do twice as much? Or maybe women incapable of having their own biological children? What about caretakers who aren’t officially the parents but simply have custody of the children? Isn’t this unfair to them?

Christmas means a lot more than just gifts and some lethargic man in a red suit to a lot of people. If I came to someone named Joe and told him or her that I didn’t like their name, I found it odd, and refused to call them that, I would be looked at like an idiot. It’s their name, they are likely to be proud of it or at least all right with their idea of it and don’t need someone (who it hardly matters to in the first place) telling them to change it.

So I’d like to wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR, despite the political correctness jail sentence I have brought upon myself.